Ladies and gentleman I hardly know what to say. As you may know, Adepticon happened last weekend and Kyle “Orkimedes” Dornbos and myself represented a full two thirds of the Republic players who made Day 2 or even had winning records at all. When “the devs” found out we got a flurry of apology messages on Discord, a gift basket from Cracker Barrel, assurances that “clone trooper” was going back to its original rule set (including standby sharing!!!) and an opportunity to show some EXCLUSIVE new cards from the long-rumored “Earth” Expansion. That’s right folks, this little game we know and love is going to start looking a lot more familiar as we delve into a list of units that is based on the troopers and vehicles you and I run into every day! My understanding is that they used a complex set of algorithms to pick the cards and based on what we’ve seen they do NOT disappoint. But enough with the joking around, let’s get down…to BUSINESS!
No one knows training and comms like this guy, just look at those slots! The VP puts a new spin on how to control the table…sure he may not dish out a TON of damage with all those white dice but with relentless and gunslinger he’s handing out more suppression than you’ll know what to do with. Your team will have long secured the hostage by the time the enemy troopers get done affirming that they can list the contents of the OSHA act of 1970 and can properly demonstrate the correct way to operate a fire extinguisher based on choosing the least ridiculous answer out of a choice of four. Just be careful about that courage, when the CEO starts asking questions about efficiency he’ll deflect blame to his co-workers almost immediately, leading to massive turnover.
Before you guys start crying “OP” just remember that they’re only going to be able to claim objectives that are roughly the size of a baby carrot and even then their breeding is going to dictate running everywhere EXCEPT where you want them to with the object. Good luck attacking them though, and honestly, if you’re doing that at all…what the hell is wrong with you?!
I’ll say that I do have some concerns about “MRSA.” Painting a scaled model of a single celled organism is gonna be tough, and 900 times! Cohesion also seems like an issue, perhaps we’ll need to start stacking bases to achieve that. Still, looking forward to seeing one of the most successful and difficult to kill organisms finally getting its chance on the table!
A controversial pick, but GAR needed a more functional cheap activation so I suppose this will have to do. On the plus side, if you accidentally break your models, you can just leave it on the table as difficult terrain since that’s what people do in real life anyway.
I was glad to see that the devs are giving a nod back to Star Wars with this unit. Don’t follow? Allow me to edumacate you:
Factor 5’s Rogue Squadron video games had a bit of an Easter Egg in all their games where a cheat code would unlock this muscle bound late 60’s classic. Naturally, despite this decidedly being “non-canon” (we do need to be clear and professional about these things) I inquired about the fact that in the game the Buick was able to shoot proton torpedoes. With a knowing winky face emoji they then sent me this hardpoint card as a bonus:
Wow! Watch out spider droids! And, pretty much everyone I guess. Luckily it ain’t exactly a “fast mover” so you’ll have a bit of a chance to take it out before it one shots your best unit. But that’s not all the Rebels are getting…
I was as shocked as you were when I found out my little brother was getting his very own card! Their algorithm has got to be pretty comprehensive to have picked him out for the crowd, but I think they did an excellent job at capturing his key features as an actual person. Rebs will FINALLY be able to play double secret mission and, while I’m not exactly sure how compulsory moves will work with a trooper base, I’m sure everything will be fine. But before you rush to pre-order, check out this righteous flaw card:
Wow! Paint all of the minis you say?! It seems like only a really good/foolish brother would ever agree to do something like that on two weeks notice. Makes me wonder how viable he’ll be, looking forward to finding out. By the way, did you know he’s a pilot? WOW THAT IS JUST SO COOL.
That’s all we’ve got this time, this expansion is already shaping up to be a barn burner! I’m looking forward to sharing them with you next time. Or, more likely, I’ll be telling my sad story to those of you who will listen about why I only lasted 4 months as a writer on this website before they began to deny all knowledge of my existence. Have a great April!